The 17 year old student

Lockdown has mainly affected my mental health. It’s become an excuse to do nothing.

Because I can’t go to college there’s no structure or feeling of responsibility. I have work to do but I haven’t done it. I do nothing. I have depression and social anxiety. With depression you can easily lay in bed all day if there is nothing else to do, and that’s what is happening, I just lie in bed. 

My sleep schedule has gone really bad. I don’t have to wake up early for college so I sleep as late as I can. That way the days are over quicker. 

A part of me doesn’t want lockdown to end. There’s a comfort in doing nothing. I’m not fighting depression, I’m giving in to it. But it’s not healthy for me. I feel more on edge. 

I know it will be good for me to get back to college and see my friends. If you go out you can put yourself in a different frame of mind. I rely on the social contact and going to college to motivate myself.

I haven’t been working on my final project. I had an idea that I was really excited about, but I can’t do the practical work at the moment, and I don’t see how I can really finish my final project. It’s stressful. As soon as I go back to college they will know I haven’t done the work, and I worry about that.

I normally see a therapist every week. It’s over the phone now but that isn’t as good. It’s not the same when you can’t read body language and facial expression. There’s a language you can only read in person.

My social life has stopped. I’m not able to see my friends, obviously, although we talk online.

I feel like life is on hold. I’m waiting.